Wrong Side Of The Bed

Today was the worst day. It was so bad that there is truly no words that can fully describe how horrendous it was. The 2 boys and I were having a great morning. Sure they were both up and awake while it was still pitch black outside, but we played and had a good time. It all changed however, once both boys and I went food shopping. My husband went to the gym and for a moment there I thought I was superwoman. I go to the shops all the time with both boys and yes while it is a hard juggle I survive and live to tell the tale. Today though was a different story. Once we arrived at the shops I could see that it was going to be a bit of work keeping the 2 boys with me while we shopped, but I truly had no idea. I think I was ready to have a nervous breakdown by the end of the first aisle. Bailey just ran. He didn't care. There was no fences anywhere. For him it was just an open playing field. I sunk to my lowest when I lost Bailey. We had finished at the big supermarket and had moved onto the fruit shop. We had all chosen 2 punnets of strawberries to purchase and while I lined up to buy them, the 2 boys stood together near the trolley. I stood in the line and they stood there at the trolley. The person in front of me in the queue turned around to look at me because they could obviously see the boys staring at me from 1 metre away. I looked at the gentlemen and smiled and that's all it took. I glanced away from the boys for the duration of 1 smile and then the boys disappeared. Needless to say that I threw the strawberries down and just ran. I found Brandon at the shopping centre door and I completely panicked when Bailey wasn't with him. Bailey was outside sulking sitting on the ground about 1 metre away from the car park. Nothing will ever describe that feeling. Even now I feel like the worst mum in the world with tears rolling down my eyes. As a result my day just deteriorated.

I think I was still in shock with an overwhelming sense of fear lingering for the rest of the day. So much so that I locked myself in the study for 2 hours and did all my business paperwork for the end of financial year. Eventually I emerged and the 2 boys and I went outside to play for awhile. My husband cooked dinner for the kids while I entertained them outside. Finally it got too dark and cold outside that I insisted the boys had to come inside. The evening was quiet. It took Bailey all of a split second to fall asleep while Brandon was similar. Tomorrow I'll make sure that I'm out of bed on the right side ready to start the new day.